Ryan Smith

• 17 years Oklahoma Highway Patrol
• Former ERT Member
• LEDT Instructor

Throughout my 17 years working as a State Trooper, I have been involved in numerous incidents, including two shootings, one of those I was shot in the face. The main memory I have is my daughter, who had just turned 1, being scared of me and began screaming and crying when I tried to hold her in the hospital.  I am reminded of that incident every time I look into the mirror.  I struggled for a long time with depression, even though I tried to act like I was fine.  I am extremely lucky to be surrounded by an amazing wife that helped me with these struggles and wouldn’t take the “I’m fine” answer.  It took a long time to feel comfortable going into public or wanting to be around anyone. 

It’s hard to admit our weaknesses, I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak.  After praying and talking to my wife about applying to the Wellness Division, we both agreed it was a good opportunity to share my struggles and to help others.  I know God had bigger plans for me the day I was shot and feel that I was spared so I could help other First Responders who are struggling.  I believe his calling was to be part of the Oklahoma First Responder Wellness Division.